Save me from myself

Bipolar. 

Divided. 

Sick. 

Misfit.

Incomplete.

Incapable.

Invalid. 

Oh, the struggles I take on to redeem myself from this label.

I exhaust myself every day to heal myself from myself, because some dude in a white coat decided to put the stamp of incurable mental illness on my forehead.  

My essence is flawed. I came into this world with a strong desire to experience all the facets of humanness. Instead I'm confined to a restricted spectrum of supposed normality. 

I believe in the people who tell me to fear the things that makes me me. 

I no longer trust my inner compass and wisdom. 

My deep emotions, and vibrating sensations hold no value in this world. 

Instead of following my inner guide, and celebrating my true nature, I've built a bulletproof cage around my psyche. 

Daily routines. Endless self-help workshops. Watching out for alcohol. Being vary of sensory stimulation. Sleep, sleep, sleep. A thousand books. Five-hundred articles. Herbs. Organic foods. Everything to dissolve my manic moods.